Reading, for me, is entertainment and an escape from the real world. But it can also inform and stretch the boundaries of the life I live.
This is not about books. It's just something personal that has been weighing on me.
I love baseball. The Houston Astros are the team of my childhood, and I learned to love baseball going to their games with my mother. The Texas Rangers are the team of my adulthood, and I rediscovered my love for baseball going to their games with my best friend.
I have a special and rare opportunity this week to experience watching the Astros play in the World Series with my family, who all still live in the Houston area and are still rabid fans of the team. I've been looking forward to sharing their excitement and joy in the game, especially as they've suffered through some long years of really bad teams. They are not new bandwagon fans.
But... that's been spoiled and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I won't go into the whole backstory here, but the Astros organization has once again demonstrated that winning games is more important than basic human morals and ethics, and they really don't care how you feel about it.
I was pretty horrified when the Astros traded for Osuna last year, but since they aren't (thank god) my primary team, I compromised by cheering for the players I like and hoping Osuna would get hammered every time he came into a game to pitch. Now, though, even though this is not the fault of any of the other players, I'm having a hard time cheering for the non-Osuna players, because team wins just validate the organizational strategy from the human garbage at the top.
And my family. I'm not entirely sure how they feel about the whole thing, and I'm frankly afraid to ask. I know we don't always hold the same values on social issues, and I'm afraid that, like many fans, their loyalty to their team leads them to dismiss any concerns about how the organization is run. I know they feel conflicted about Osuna, but the fact that his DV arrest occurred with another team and the charges were dropped makes it easier.
I love my family. I don't want to spoil their fun. I feel bad enough that my own pleasure in their fun and in getting to share it with them has been spoiled. I don't know what else to do except to be supportive of the people I love, cheer for the players I like, and secretly hope the other team wins.
But it feels bad.